Vulnerability and the art of asking

Yesterday two things happened that, on the surface, seemed completely unrelated but turned out to be more connected than one would think.

I love music! I have been known to spend nights on the net searching for new or unknown artists. My favourite genres are, on the one hand, House & Trance and, on the other hand, singer-songwriter Indie & Folk music. For the former I mainly use SoundCloud and, for the latter NoiseTrade.

Cartoon by Thibaut Soulcié

Cartoon by Thibaut Soulcié

Recently I found a Tom & Collins remix of Hanging Tree that I just cannot stop listening to! As I was raving about my new find to a friend, the topic of artist compensation came up. A topic dear to my heart as I, as a photographer, am all too familiar with the expectation of delivering free services and products.

I mentioned a video clip I saw quite some time ago on trusting your audience to pay for the music you make and, although it might not be true for SoundCloud, it is the whole premise on which NoiseTrade operates. He, quite rightly, judged is as quite risky. Of course it is but considering how little compensation artists get from sites like iTunes, it may not be such a difficult choice for an artist to make, especially as platforms like NoiseTrade offer a better opportunity for artist to promote themselves.

One of the stories that made it to my Facebook news feed yesterday was Amy Pence-Brown who took a stand for self love.

As I always try to dig a little deeper, her video led me to Jea West’s public experiment in Piccadilly Circus attributed by Amy as the inspiration for hers.

In turn, Jea mentioned in her blog post that she was inspired by the TED talk of Amanda Palmer on the Art of Asking. The same video that made such an impression on me when I watched it a couple of years ago that, although I may not have remembered her name or even that it was a TED talk, the message definitely stayed with me.

In her video, Amanda mentions CouchSurfing a couple of times. As a seasoned CouchSurfer who have been hosted by a multitude of CouchSurfing hosts on 5 continents, I am often asked how I can stay in a total stranger’s house or how I trust total strangers enough to invite them into my home – sometimes even when I am not there. It is a very valid question and a question once again brought to the forefront by the recent killing of Dahlia Yehia in Nepal.

My go-to joke – before I get to the sound advice – is that people don’t travel all the way to Africa to come and steal your furniture. Jokes aside though, it does take courage to trust. It does take courage to step out of your comfort zone. It does take courage to make yourself vulnerable. It does take courage to ask.

What I have learned (and I believe Amanda and Jae and Amy have learned) is that it takes grace, and humility, to receive. To put yourself, your well-being, and even your future in the hands of people who don’t know you and who don’t care about you and trust, blindly, that they will handle it with care.

What we may have learned is that making yourself vulnerable and practicing the art of asking may just be the most amazing gift you can give yourself.